By Rob Furlong
We have been talking this year about ways in which we can improve the quality of our relationships by learning and practicing some new skills.
This month, I want to talk about how we can avoid the damage done to our relationships when we make assumptions.
Carole Mayhall, co-author with her husband, Jack, of Marriage Takes more than Love, recounts a humorous story from their own experience, which highlights the danger of making assumptions about people.
“One evening Jack and I were looking at a full, lovely moon. It was an incredibly beautiful evening, and I said, “Isn’t that a beautiful moon?”
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Category: Rob Furlong – Building Better Relationships
In Praise of Grandmothers
By Rob Furlong
Given it is the month of May and Mother’s Day is fast approaching, I think it a good idea to take a break from our series on being more present with people and focus on celebrating the women in our life!
Generally, I like to use Mother’s Day as an opportunity to celebrate all women, but this year I want to especially celebrate grandmothers through the following story from James Dobson, written by a third grader:
A grandmother is a lady who has no children of her own. She likes other people’s little girls and boys. A grandfather is a man grandmother. He goes for walks with boys, and they talk about fishing and stuff like that.
Is your body language contradicting your words?
by Rob Furlong
The experts tell us that 70% of what we communicate to each other is non-verbal. This means when we are talking with people, they are going to be paying a lot more attention to the messages they are receiving from our body language than to what we are saying.
We know this fact to be true because we have all been on the receiving end of “conversations” where a person’s body language has spoken loudly and clearly!
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I’m sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud?
By Rob Furlong
A favourite meme of mine is one where Robert Downey Jr. (who plays Tony Stark/Iron Man) has his arms crossed, eyes rolling backwards and the caption stating, “The face you make when the person you can’t stand is talking!”
For some strange reason, my eldest daughter sent this to me with the not- so -subtle suggestion that this is how I can be at times!
Yes – I confess – I have trouble being present with people in conversation occasionally, and I suspect I am not alone!
How can I (we) be more present with people?
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Big picture thinking about our relationships
By Rob Furlong
By the time you read this article 2021 will be well under way with one month having passed by already! (I just wanted to encourage you all!)
Nevertheless, it is still appropriate to ask what your plans this year are for personal growth and change and I am specifically referring to the area of your relationships.
What motivates change in us is having a picture of how we would like things to be. Once that bigger picture is established firmly in your mind then you make a commitment to start working steadily towards that picture.
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How Christmas changed marriage forever
By Rob Furlong
Have you ever wondered how different our world might be if Jesus had never been born?
For example, as a direct result of His emphasis on love, mercy and compassion, Christians set up organizations such as hospitals, universities, a just and fair judicial system, orphanages and centres caring for the poor.
All because a baby was born in a stable two thousand years ago.
One of the most profound impacts Jesus has had upon our world is in the area of our relationships, especially those between husbands, wives and the family unit.
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More strategies for dealing with anxiety
By Rob Furlong
Last month we began looking at ways of dealing with anxiety or helping support someone through it. Let’s consider some more helpful principles:
Music: It has been shown repeatedly that music has the power to alter the patterns of our brains as well as enhancing our ability to experience rest, serenity and peace.
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Some answers to anxiety
By Rob Furlong
2020, with its challenges and difficulties, will not be a year we forget in a hurry!
And it’s not surprising to hear that anxiety has become a major problem for people, especially in the Western world.
I agree with the statement; I think it is the number one issue people struggle with today.
Over the past fourteen years I have had many conversations with people who struggle with this in some form or another.
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Experiencing the perfect father
By Rob Furlong
Bilquis Sheikh was born into a wealthy Pakistani family and although a Muslim, for the first forty-six years of her life, she neither embraced nor rejected her religious heritage.
This all changed when her marriage to a senior Pakistani Government minister collapsed. The divorce by her husband ignited a longing within her for spiritual truth and she quite naturally began with her Muslim faith.
Reading through the Koran she discovered it mentioned the prophet Jesus several times which led to her reading the New Testament to learn more about Him.
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Taking out toxic thoughts
by Rob Furlong
Last month we began a discussion on the impact our mental health has on the quality of our life and relationships.
In particular, we focused on ways that we can address the toxic thinking that plagues our thought life.
Here are some more principles I have found extremely helpful in dealing with my own toxic thinking:
When you become aware of a toxic thought, actively replace it with a positive one. Sing a song or remind yourself of an encouraging thing someone said about you.
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