By Rob Furlong
By the time you read this article 2021 will be well under way with one month having passed by already! (I just wanted to encourage you all!)
Nevertheless, it is still appropriate to ask what your plans this year are for personal growth and change and I am specifically referring to the area of your relationships.
What motivates change in us is having a picture of how we would like things to be. Once that bigger picture is established firmly in your mind then you make a commitment to start working steadily towards that picture.
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Author: Jody Bennett
How Christmas changed marriage forever
By Rob Furlong
Have you ever wondered how different our world might be if Jesus had never been born?
For example, as a direct result of His emphasis on love, mercy and compassion, Christians set up organizations such as hospitals, universities, a just and fair judicial system, orphanages and centres caring for the poor.
All because a baby was born in a stable two thousand years ago.
One of the most profound impacts Jesus has had upon our world is in the area of our relationships, especially those between husbands, wives and the family unit.
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Lemon Tree Lessons
By Janice Teo
I have a lemon tree at home. To all who know it, it is a superstar. First of all, it is of the Meyer variety, which I understand is the Wonder Woman of the lemon tree world – strong, beautiful and able to cheat death at every turn (a necessary quality because until my mother-in-law came to live with us, I had to take care of it).
Secondly, for all its star quality, it is no diva. Some plants require more attention than an octopus going through a clingy phase; my lemon tree on the other hand is happy with regular watering and the occasional squirt of fertiliser.
There was one time when it had scale (scale are tiny, sap-sucking insects) and my heart stopped thinking we had lost it, but my mother-in-law, armed with lemon oil – kryptonite to scale – smothered the life out of the bugs we already had as well as all their future generations.
I can’t even claim any credit for planting it. It was already in the garden when we bought the house 15 years ago. In all that time it has never faltered, fruiting twice, sometimes even three times a year. Its fruit never varies in quality – always juicy, luscious and unblemished. It is so bountiful that the question is never ‘will we have enough?’ but ‘what do we do with all the excess?’
One evening I was struck by the thought that my lemon tree was the perfect metaphor for some aspects of what it means to be a Christian.
The Bible draws many parallels between the life of the Christian and life in the garden. In John 15, Jesus says: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit”. In verse 16 He says: “I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last.”
And in Galatians 5: 22-23, the apostle Paul writes: “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”
Good fruit symbolises abundance, plenty, health and harvest; it means your plant is in the right environment and has all the nourishment it needs. Bad fruit or worse, barrenness, mean the exact opposite. The quality of your fruit in other words, is a reflection of your root system.
What kind of fruit would I be producing if Jesus had not come into my life; if Jesus hadn’t been my gardener, tending to me, pruning me, nourishing me? I shudder to think. My root system would surely not be as healthy as it is and it is all thanks to the love of God and His transforming work in my life.
I’ve been a Christian for more than 40 years. That does not make me perfect though, as I have had moments when the scale of sin has infested my life because I have disobeyed God. So I required copious amounts of Holy Spirit lemon oil to get me back on track. Thankfully the soil and environment I grew up in have been immensely helpful in keeping me faithful in my walk with God.
So I asked myself: Have I been bearing good fruit? Am I strong, steady and happy to give of my own harvest to others? Am I also a low-maintenance ‘plant’, more concerned with blessing others than my own comfort? I pray that is the case.
I also think about the time we almost gave up our lemon tree for dead, but my mother-in-law refused to give up. Today it is flourishing thanks to the fact that someone cared enough to nurse it through the storm. In God’s family too, nobody is a lost cause. Whether you need lemon oil or pruning, the Master Gardener has the skill to restore your life. He did that with me, He can do it with you. My lemon tree and I are living proof that anything can grow and blossom in the hands of the One who nurtures us all.
More strategies for dealing with anxiety
By Rob Furlong
Last month we began looking at ways of dealing with anxiety or helping support someone through it. Let’s consider some more helpful principles:
Music: It has been shown repeatedly that music has the power to alter the patterns of our brains as well as enhancing our ability to experience rest, serenity and peace.
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Some answers to anxiety
By Rob Furlong
2020, with its challenges and difficulties, will not be a year we forget in a hurry!
And it’s not surprising to hear that anxiety has become a major problem for people, especially in the Western world.
I agree with the statement; I think it is the number one issue people struggle with today.
Over the past fourteen years I have had many conversations with people who struggle with this in some form or another.
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Experiencing the perfect father
By Rob Furlong
Bilquis Sheikh was born into a wealthy Pakistani family and although a Muslim, for the first forty-six years of her life, she neither embraced nor rejected her religious heritage.
This all changed when her marriage to a senior Pakistani Government minister collapsed. The divorce by her husband ignited a longing within her for spiritual truth and she quite naturally began with her Muslim faith.
Reading through the Koran she discovered it mentioned the prophet Jesus several times which led to her reading the New Testament to learn more about Him.
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Taking out toxic thoughts
by Rob Furlong
Last month we began a discussion on the impact our mental health has on the quality of our life and relationships.
In particular, we focused on ways that we can address the toxic thinking that plagues our thought life.
Here are some more principles I have found extremely helpful in dealing with my own toxic thinking:
When you become aware of a toxic thought, actively replace it with a positive one. Sing a song or remind yourself of an encouraging thing someone said about you.
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The power of your thoughts
By Rob Furlong
As I write this article Australia’s Mental Health Awareness Week 2020 has just concluded.
“What in the world does mental health have to do with relationships?” you ask.
Everything, actually – especially in this time of what has come to be called “social distancing.”
The term itself has bothered me a little, subtly implying that we must cut off all contact with each other.
“Physical distancing” is much more accurate.
When we are cut off completely – voluntarily and involuntarily – from relational contact, our mental health suffers.
And so do our relationships.
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Vital keys to better communication
by Rob Furlong
The sign hanging from the balcony of the second floor apartment said it all. It simply read, “For sale – one husband!”
After a number of weeks of government enforced isolation, clearly things – or her husband – were getting to one poor lady!
With most of the world in some form of lockdown it would be unusual for even the best of relationships to not experience some form of tension at the moment!
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Mother’s Day in a time of coronavirus
by Rob Furlong
Mother’s Day, as with many other celebrations in 2020, will be very different to previous years!
With that in mind, and given our current social restrictions, how can you all enjoy the day together, without driving each other crazy?
Here are some suggestions:
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